


Waiting

by Root (Fyki)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationships, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Multi, Worried Bellamy, all spacekru is just worried about murphy, background memori and marper, spacekru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 22:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15715956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyki/pseuds/Root
Summary: "It had already been three days, and Bellamy was going to lose his goddamned mind."Or, the fic about that one time Murphy was in a coma for a week because of Monty's algae, and all of spacekru was worried sick about him.





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in this fandom! I finished watching the show yesterday and the first thing I thought was that I absolutely need to write a fic about that time when Murphy was in a coma, so here it is.  
> I love spacekru so much, I hope I was able to write them at least vaguely well.  
> Also, english is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any errors!  
> If you like it, please leave a comment, it would mean a lot to me <3

It had been three days. Three days of constant worrying and building tension, three days in which they all had barely spoken to each other – except for Emori lashing out at Monty the first day and Harper coming in between them trying, and failing, to calm her down.

It had already been three days, and Bellamy was going to lose his goddamned mind.

He paced up and down the corridor, with nothing to do except drowning himself in his own thoughts and keep worrying over something he could do nothing about. The image of Murphy lying down on his bed, his eyes closed and his skin paler than usual, kept coming back to Bellamy's mind; it had been three days, and there was still no sign that could tell them that he would wake up, no sign of _anything_.

They didn't have a doctor, they didn't have an infirmary of medical supplies. They didn't have anything but a friend that was probably dying and they could do literally nothing except waiting for something to change – for the better or for the worst.

Bellamy didn't realize his fist had slammed against the hard wall until he started feeling the pain and, then, then he did it again, and again. He wanted to scream, and maybe he was but he couldn't really tell. He felt numb, he felt trapped, he felt useless, powerless. Had they come to space and survived the death wave just so they could be killed by algae? Had he survived and fought all this time just to see his friends die anyway?

He was about to hit the wall again, when a hand was laid on his arm, holding him back.

“Bellamy”.

He was almost afraid to look back at Raven, afraid of what she was about to tell him. But he did, he took a breath, tried to calm himself down and looked at her, met her tired eyes and worried features. He wondered briefly if maybe her expression mirrored his own and came to the conclusion that, yes, it probably did. They all felt like that, even Echo who had only come to know Murphy in the last two months; they all shared the same thoughts, even if no one wanted to talk about it.

“Anything new?”

Bellamy was almost relieved when Raven shook her head – if anything had changed, given the look in her eyes, it couldn't have been anything good.

“Nothing changed”, she said. “He's still breathing normally, he just...”

“He's in a coma, Raven, a _coma_ , and there's nothing we can do but stay here and wait”.

Bellamy could feel the desperation in his own voice, could see it mirrored in Raven's eyes.

Her hand on his arm moved down until it found his, and gripped it tight. Bellamy squeezed back, holding into Raven's hand and letting her holding onto him.

“He'll make it”, she said, staring right into his eyes, and Bellamy really wanted to believe her. “He has to”.

Bellamy only nodded.

“He's a cockroach, after all, isn't he?”, she continued. Her voice was small and her hand was still holding Bellamy's. “He has to survive this too”.

“Yeah”, Bellamy said, and let out a breathless, exhausted laugh. “Emori's with him?”

“Obviously. She hasn't left his side even for a moment”, Raven answers. “She looks ready to kill whoever comes too close, especially Monty”.

In any other situation, Bellamy could have laughed at the image of Emori acting like Murphy's guard dog; instead, he just felt weird, and a part of him was simply happy that Murphy had finally found someone who always had his back – someone that he couldn't find among his own people, Bellamy thought with a pang of guilt, someone that he had to cross a desert to find.

“Monty is trying to understand what's wrong with the algae, and figure out a way to fix the problem”, he said, trying his best to ignore the feeling of guilt, growing stronger by the second, occluding his throat. No use of feeling guilty now, he told himself – what he _always_ told himself, because if he didn't he would just spend the rest of his life feeling guilty over his past mistakes, instead of using his time to make up for them.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed – minutes, probably, long silent minutes – until Raven spoke again.

“Did we really come up here again, survived the second apocalypse- just to be killed by algae?”

Bellamy looked at her; her eyes were fixed on the big window, on the planet under them that was still burning – that would keep burning for years.

“No”, he felt himself saying. “We won't die like this, Raven, we'll make it- we'll survive, just like we did until now”.

 _We'll survive this, too_ , he repeated to himself. _He'll survive. Murphy will survive._

She probably didn't believe him and he couldn't really blame her because, after all, he wasn't sure he believed himself, either.

 

~

 

Despite Raven's warning about Emori's mood, Bellamy decided to make his way to her and Murphy's room the next day.

Four days. Four days and still nothing.

He found her exactly like he expected, sitting next to the bed, her hand clasping Murphy so tight that if he were conscious it would probably hurt him.

Emori looked up at him only for a moment when Bellamy entered the room, her gaze immediately going back to Murphy.

Bellamy didn't say anything. He had no idea what to say to her – even after two months spent living together, she still didn't know her well enough, even though he had quickly come to understand how strong her bond with Murphy was, how much they cared about each other.

While he looked at Murphy and saw an ally, a past comrade and a possible future friend, she looked at him and saw the most important person in her life, the person that had saved her from her miserable life, the person the she herself had saved from his demons.

What could he possibly say to her that wouldn't sound stupid and useless? _Don't worry, he'll be okay?_

So he didn't say anything, he just stood there, looking at Murphy, finding himself incapable of looking away. He looked at him, at his sharp features relaxed in his sleep and was suddenly reminded of how young Murphy actually was. He looked at him, at his exposed neck and couldn't suppress the image of a rope wrapped around it, couldn't help but feel like it was wrapped around his own, too.

_I failed him, once, and I'm failing him again._

_I'm failing them all._

They stayed like that, both him and Emori lost in their own thoughts. Not a word was spoken between them the whole time but, at some point, Emori's soft voice cut the silence in a whisper so slight that Bellamy was not sure if he was imagining it or not.

“Come on, John, we haven't come all the way up here just for you to leave me. _Please,_ John”.

 

~

 

Four days became five, and five became six. And on the sixth day, Monty, with Harper by his side, came to Bellamy telling him that he had found the problem, that he could fix it, and that he was sure the next colture of algae would be safe for them to eat.

They all had felt sick when they ate the first batch – and all of them but Murphy had started feeling better after only a couple of days.

“You did a great job, Monty”, Bellamy told him. That had been the first good news in almost a week and he was grateful. They could survive, after all.

“Thank you”, he added, looking at Monty, trying his best to smile.

But, during the whole time he was speaking, Monty had been avoiding Bellamy's eyes, the guilty look on his face evident even to someone who didn't know what he was going through.

“It's not your fault, Monty”, Bellamy told him and, just like all the previous times he had done it, Monty didn't believe him.

“Yeah? And whose fault is it, then?”

Bellamy watched as Harper moved closer to Monty, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, laying her head on his shoulder. Bellamy could see in her eyes that that was a conversation that she and Monty had had more than once in the last six days.

“It doesn't matter, Monty”, Bellamy said. “You couldn't know what would have happened, it's not your fault”.

Monty didn't answer, just looked down at his own hands. Harper looked at him, and Bellamy could feel that she was dying to be able to do something, anything, to help Monty, could read her helplessness in the way her eyes never left him.

“And besides, feeling guilty doesn't help Murphy. It doesn't help any of us”.

This time, Bellamy wasn't sure if he was talking to Monty or to himself.

 

~

 

It had been seven days, and Bellamy wasn't sure for how long they could still hang on. He spent most of his time between walking aimlessly through the ring, looking at the burning Earth underneath them, and standing in Murphy's room, looking at him, waiting, and waiting, and waiting for him to open his eyes.

He found himself thinking way too often about Clarke, missing her like a part of himself was missing – she would have known what to do, she would have found a solution, she would have saved them all like she always did.

But they, they had no idea what was going on, why Murphy still hadn't woken up, _if_ he would ever wake up.

“At least now we know that we'll be able to survive the next five years”, Echo, sitting on the bed in his room next to him, said.

Bellamy wondered if that was her attempt at consoling him or if she just didn't care about Murphy at all, if everything she cared about was her own survival. He was pretty sure he knew the right answer to that, but he still pretended that it was the former and that Echo was trying in her own way to make him see a silver lining in their current situation. He wasn't in the mood to deal with her and their past history, not when all his strength was focused on waiting and trying not to explode from the frustration and the sense of powerlessness that had took over him, trying not to just run to Murphy and _beg_ for him to wake up. He knew that if he started thinking about Echo, about her motives, about what she had just said to him actually meant, he wouldn't have been able to keep everything inside anymore, he would have just exploded and lashed out at her – and, no, even after everything she had done, she didn't deserve it.

“Yeah”, he murmured, and despite his efforts, he couldn't completely keep the venom out of his voice. “Just maybe not all of us”.

“People die, Bellamy, you can't keep feeling guilty every time it happens”.

“We're not at war, Echo, not anymore”, he said through gritted teeth, ignoring the way she had read right trough him. He hided is face in his hands, refusing to let her see the way his mask was breaking. “We were supposed to be safe up here”, he murmured.

“We are now”, Echo said, and Bellamy was surprised to hear a soft tone in her voice.

This time, he suddenly understood, she was really trying to console him.

It didn't work but, nonetheless, Bellamy appreciated it.

 

~

 

Eight days. Eight days and Bellamy was starting to feel like nothing was ever going to change, like Murphy would stay in that coma and they would all spend the next five years barely talking to each other and waiting, just waiting for something that would never happen.

But then, then he felt someone running through the corridor and that was the most noise he had heard in the last week; it felt like something had finally snapped, like one of them had finally gotten tired of walking on eggshells.

And then he saw Emori and she was smiling and her eyes were finally _alive,_ and Bellamy was out of the chair where he was sitting and about to run toward Murphy's room even before she spoke.

“He's awake!”

The biggest smile came up on Bellamy's lips, and they both ran back.

The commotion got the other's attention, and then after a moment they were all inside Murphy's room, and this time, after eight long days, he was awake, his eyes were open and he was looking at them with confusion clear on his face.

“You guys look horrible”, he said, and Bellamy was not ashamed of the relief that washed over him at hearing his voice, hoarse and raspy but annoyingly sarcastic as always. “And here I thought I was the one who had been in a coma for a week”.

Bellamy felt the sudden urge to go to him, and he himself wasn't sure if he wanted to hug him or punch him or maybe both, but he felt so relieved, so _light_ like a weight had just been taken off his shoulder and he could finally stand upright, so it didn't really matter.

Raven was the first one to recollect herself – she didn't seem to have the same indecision as Bellamy as she went to Murphy and punched his shoulder, a smile on her face; the same smile that was probably painted on the lips of everyone else in the room, except for Murphy.

“You cockroach, I knew you'd survive this too”, she said, and it didn't matter that all of them but Murphy knew that that was a blatant lie.

“Yeah, well, it's not so easy to get rid of me, you should know that by now”, Murphy replied, still with a confused tone to his voice. His eyes kept moving between them, and the urge to go near him, to just be _closer_ to him, came again stronger than before when Bellamy finally met those eyes.

“Monty's algae are not enough to kill me”.

Just like Raven did, Monty came onward and did what Bellamy didn't have the courage to do: his arms closed around Murphy's shoulder in an hug, and Murphy's confused face turned even more confused and shocked, while he patted Monty's back in what was probably the most awkward way ever.

“I'm sorry, Murphy”, Monty murmured.

Next to Bellamy, Harper let out a laugh, and even Emori seemed to be on the verge of laughing at the scene before their eyes.

“Yeah yeah, don't worry, not you fault”, Murphy said to Monty. A small smile had made his way on his lips. “I'm still alive, aren't I?”

When finally Monty seemed to decide that the hug had lasted long enough, he freed Murphy and took a step back. “You'll be happy to know that the next batch of algae will be safe for us to eat”, he said, and it was like he was finally allowed to be proud of himself for being able to fix the problem and assure the survive of them all.

Murphy groaned. “Better than being in a coma again, I guess”, he then said.

“We're glad you're okay, Murphy”, Harper said, earning a nod an a still confused smile.

Bellamy realized then that he still hadn't said anything, that he had been just staring at Murphy unable to look away since he had entered the room. Maybe it was a coincidence, or maybe Murphy was thinking the same thing, because he met Bellamy's eyes, locking their gazes, as if waiting for him to finally speak.

“Yeah”, Bellamy said after a while. “You got us worried, Murphy”.

“Yeah, sure”, Murphy scoffed, and that was when Bellamy finally got why Murphy had been so confused in the first place, why it seemed that he couldn't wrap his head around all of them being there.

_He didn't think we'd care. He didn't think anyone but Emori would care._

_He didn't think I'd care,_ he thought, and the familiar pang of guilt was back with him.

For a second, Bellamy thought about insisting, about telling Murphy that he had been worried sick for the past eight days, but he had no doubt that nothing he could have told him would have made Murphy really believe him.

So Bellamy just kept looking at him for another moment, hoping that his smile could have somehow made Murphy understand everything what Bellamy hadn't told him.

And maybe it didn't work, but it was okay, because they were all there – even Echo, who had stood right next to the door, observing the exchange without participating – they were all there and they were all going to survive the next five years.

Bellamy had enough time to make Murphy understand, he could wait. For that, he could wait.

 

 


End file.
